When old ladies at church ask me if I'm pregnant yet

I want to be like

But instead I'm like

When there's a bounce house at my friend's kid's party

I'm like

When your very pregnant friend says "You're next!"

Most of my highschool friends are like

I'm like

Who is mom enough?

It's probably all over your news feed by now:

Shock value aside (come on, that kid is tall for 3!), it's an interesting twist to parenting in America.

In case you're not too sure what Attachment Parenting is, the Wikipedia article gives you a basic definition. Be warned, there is so much more to AP than being there for your child 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It encourages co-sleeping, to form a bond between newborn and mother, and beyond. It encourages baby-wearing entailing that you're holding your baby, almost literally attached to your body, at all times, if possible. And breastfeeding. Oh, yes. Exclusively, and way into the toddler years, is encouraged. No cry-it-out, unlimited hugs and cuddles, rearing a child that is not afraid to communicate his feelings, therefore raising confident, psychologically well balanced kids.

That's the goal in every aspect of parenting, right? Bring up happy, well balanced children.

So. Back to the magazine cover, the war rages between Attachment Parenting advocates versus ... Babywise? "Normal" Parenting? Cry-It-Out advocates? That's the thing, there's no real counterpart to Attachment Parenting. At least not one that can be pointed at without a doubt. Attachment Parenting has its fans and haters, and it has as of lately been linked to the crunchy movement (Ha!).

What actually makes me narrow my eyes in discomfort is the title of the story. Are you mom enough? Well. I won't know till I pop a baby, but I do know this: It's a race, now. A competition.

I breastfed my baby all through his first year. I am better than you.

I had a natural birth with no pain medication. This makes me stronger and better than you.

Goodness forbid I'm one of THOSE moms who give fast food to their kids!

Seriously? No one likes to be told how to bring up their own children, let alone with a snarky attitude to back it up. I'm more likely to follow someone's advice when there's no judgement riding it. The title of the story on TIME magazine fuels that which should not have even started, in the first place: Are you mom enough? Under which qualifications do we begin to quantify success as a parent, yours or mine?

In short, I just think everybody needs to shut up and take five.

At the risk of sounding like a closet anarchist, let me just say that everybody needs to relax.

Again, the goal of a mother is to nourish, protect and raise healthy, happy children. It doesn't include berating other moms for not cooking all-organic dinners every single night of the kid's childhood. It doesn't have to be like that. It shouldn't mean, either, that everybody yields to everybody else's choices. Here, I am not even a mother yet, and I'm trying to shed a little light on the matter - perhaps an outsider's view might prove useful beyond my questions and doubts as a hopeful future mom.

Jaime Grumet is the mom featured on TIME. First of all I think it's brave she came forward to share her parenting style, especially if it's not a mainstream one. Second, while I don't fully agree with everything she does, I think it's pretty great she's doing what she believes is best for her kids.The whole purpose of TIME was to be provocative (they have to sell magazines, right?), but before passing judgement on Jaime, who knows what she really stands for?

When I was training with Wells Fargo, a very smart classmate said, flat out to me: "You do you. Don't let anyone else tell you what to do." We were talking about having kids right away after marriage or waiting a few years. Everybody, obviously, had an opinion on the matter. Everybody judged everybody on their opinion too. Just like with this magazine cover.

In this case, that's what I would tell everybody: You do you. Because I plan to do "me" when it's my turn.